An Ofrenda in Honor of My Dad
How Día de Muertos (Day of the Dead) changed the way I grieve.
Lilia Figueroa is the author of this blog post. She is a daughter, sister, social worker, a leader in diversity, equity, and inclusion, a past camper, current volunteer, and the Camp HOPE Board of Directors' Vice President. Lilia continually shares her journey in order to inspire and support others who are grieving the loss of their loved ones.
A Holiday for Me
Día de los Muertos was a holiday that as a child I didn’t realize would hold such significant meaning for me later in life. I first learned about Día de los Muertos as a young child mainly because I felt that I didn’t have a holiday to claim like my siblings did, my brother’s birthday was the day after Christmas (although he would say it sucks having a Christmas birthday) and my sister’s birthday was two days before St. Patrick’s Day. My birthday is in early November, so I thought there was no holiday for me until my mom told me about Día de los Muertos/Day of the Dead. She explained that it was a holiday celebrated in Mexico to remember those who have passed away and that some build ofrendas or altars at the cemeteries or in their homes to honor their loved ones.
The way my mom described it, it wasn’t something that was sad, but a way for families to be able to reconnect with their loved ones, a celebration that often lasts all night.
My mom promised that one day I would get to spend a birthday in Mexico to celebrate Dia de los Muertos, but little did I know that I would suffer a significant loss that would tie me even closer to this day.
My Ofrenda
My dad, Francisco (Frankie), passed away when I was 13 years old after a short battle with liver cancer in February of 2001. After his passing, I carried my dad’s photo in a small picture frame on every trip I went on. It felt wrong not having him there since we only ever traveled as a family. This photo of my dad went with me to college and I still have it out to this day, but I no longer rely on it like I did when I was a kid. I felt some guilt, thinking I was remembering less of him, so as an adult I decided to make the effort of celebrating him on Día de los Muertos. For this reason I wanted to start building an ofrenda in honor of my dad.
It started out very small and didn’t have all the traditional elements of an ofrenda, but it made me feel connected to him in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Normalizing Grief
I was eventually able to spend Día de los Muertos in Mexico City with my sister and some friends a couple of years ago and it was such a beautiful and moving experience. Walking into stores, restaurants, museums, and churches with ofrendas made me reflect on how it helped normalize grief in a way that wasn’t sad, but celebrated the lives of our loved ones in a joyous way. Over the years, I have slowly started making my ofrenda slightly bigger and it’s become a symbol of my love for my dad and other family members who have since passed on and a way to represent that they are not forgotten. While I will admit that building the ofrenda has brought up many different emotions for me that you often feel with grief, in the end it always brings comfort.
Finding Ways to Celebrate
While an ofrenda may not be your way to honor your loved one, I hope that through processing your grief you find ways to celebrate and honor their lives in small ways that make you feel connected to them. I am sharing a photo of my ofrenda this year which always includes my dad, but also now includes my grandma, Guadalupe, my cousin, Alex, and our family pet cockatiel, Coco. If you’re interested in building your own ofrenda, it's important to learn more about the tradition, how it originated and how it became one of Mexico's most cherished holidays. I hope you see some of the traditional elements in my ofrenda and can learn more below about their meaning and some of the history of Día de los Muertos.
The History of Día de Muertos
The history of Dia de los Muertos started long before the version that we know today. The holiday originates from Indigenous people such as the Olmecs, Toltecs, Mixtecs, Zapotecs, Mayans and Aztecs.The Aztecs, who celebrated the death of their ancestors with a month-long festival called Miccaihuitl, the festival honored the goddess Mictēcacihuātl, the Lady of the Dead, who was believed to watch over the bones of the dead and ensure they were cared for properly. El Día de los Muertos is not, as is commonly thought, a Mexican version of Halloween.
On the Day of the Dead, it’s believed that the border between the spirit world and the real world dissolves.
During this brief period, from November 1st through November 2nd, the souls of the dead awaken and return to the living world to feast, drink, dance and play music with their loved ones. In turn, the living family members treat the deceased as honored guests in their celebrations, and leave the deceased’s favorite foods and other offerings at gravesites or on the ofrendas built in their homes.
Ofrendas are Meant to be Bright
The ofrendas that people make are meant to be bright so the souls of lost loved ones can find their way.
Each of the items on an ofrenda is placed with a specific reason that correlates to Indigenous cultures. Here is the meaning behind a few of the objects placed on an ofrenda:
Cempasúchils
The cempasúchil or marigold is the official flower associated with Día de Muertos and was commonly used in Indigenous Aztec rituals to honor the goddess Mictecacihuatl, who is known as the Lady of the Dead. The vibrant color of the flowers are used to attract but then also the scent is intended to help guide the dead to the ofrenda. Some say that orange is the only color visible to souls from the afterlife, and so these flowers are an important component in altars and cemeteries.
Water
Indigenous groups were greatly influenced by the earth and its elements during Día de Muertos celebrations. A cup or bowl of water is left on an ofrenda to represent purification. The water element is meant to cleanse the energies and then also quench the thirst of the dead that are coming to visit.
Candles
To symbolize the element of fire on ofrendas, candles are placed to help light a path for the souls to follow. A candle is put out for each person that has passed and an extra for anyone that you might have forgotten.
Food
Plates of food are placed on ofrendas to feed the souls as they come to visit. Indigenous people believed that souls have to make a long journey to the living world and can become hungry along the way. Some people prepare their loved ones’ favorite dishes and place them on the ofrenda.
Papel picado
Colorful strings of papel picado are hung on ofrendas to represent wind and air. The pieces of paper have holes and allow wind to flow through them, which symbolizes a soul’s journey to the living. It’s also believed that the delicate nature of the paper is symbolic of the fragility of life.
Incense
Traditionally copal, but any form of incense would work. Copal incense is burned because it is believed to attract spirits, and believed to ward off evil and cleanse the area of an altar.
Pan de muerto
Pan de muerto, representative of the earth, is a traditional sweet bread baked especially for Día de los Muertos decorated bones and skulls made of dough. Most pan de muertos have a cross on top to signify death. Pre-colonial traditions of performing sacrifices influenced having bread with a heart and blood on top of it. After colonization, a cross was placed on the bread instead.
Sugar Skulls
Calaveras, especially in the form of sugar skulls, are commonly placed on ofrendas to represent death and rebirth. Sugar skulls represent the presence of death, along with an acceptance that death is part of life. The calavera is an important symbol in Indigenous cultures because it is a physical representation of the underworld.
Picture frames
Photos serve as a visual representation of the loved ones being honored on the ofrenda. The pictures also help encourage the souls to return by letting them know the ofrenda is dedicated to them.
Xoloitzcuintle Mexican Spirit Dog
In Pre-Hispanic times, Xoloitzcuintles, more commonly known as "the Mexican hairless dog," were believed to be spirit dogs that helped guide the deceased through the nine levels of Mictlán in the afterlife. According to Aztec mythology, the word "Xolotl" means "god of lightning, fire, and death" and "itzcuintli" means "dog. Traditionally, a Xoloitzcuintle dog figure is added to the altar to guide the souls back to us across the river from the land of the dead. The purpose of the Xoloitzcuintle is to guard humanity in life and to guide the dead in the afterlife.
Monarch Butterflies
The Purépecha natives of Michoacán in Mexico believe monarch butterflies are the souls of the dead coming to visit us. Although monarch butterflies are not a traditional element required on the altar, I include them in honor of my dad, who was from Michoacán. It really is magical to think about how monarch butterflies migrate from Canada to Michoacán in central Mexico arriving just in time for Día de Muertos. Just like the souls of the dead, monarch butterflies also love the strong scent of marigolds.
Salt
Salt is often used for purification. In Día de Muertos ofrendas, it's included as a symbol to prevent the body of the dead from becoming contaminated during their journey to the land of the living, and so they can return again the following year.
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